Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
