dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
