Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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