just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
