Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
You smell like a Billy Joel song
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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