Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
