I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
