If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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