Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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