shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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