Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
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