I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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