I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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