Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize