Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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