My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
