Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
