Fuck appropriateness.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
