i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beer is more important than you right now.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
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