Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
