Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
