Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
the condom got lost in my hair
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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