I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
