My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
