So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
