Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
