Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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