If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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