Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize