i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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