Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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