where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
