New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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