just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
So much rum. So many feels.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
