this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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