I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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