We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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