I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
