How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
birth control should be required to get into college
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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