Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
