What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
