Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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