just tell him i said nine months
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
