I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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