why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
