Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
