these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
