they need to just BURY HIM!
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
