Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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