Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
