oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
