dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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