Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
