and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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