spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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