not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
no more duck duck goose at the bar
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
