He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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