can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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