make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
We smell like vodka and hangover
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