There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
